War paint
by canihavea-soda
Summary: Adult KafeiOni Link pairing. 'Masks can be both proverbial and physical.' Involves some philosophy, grown mean teasing each other, and a game of strippoker. Everything you could want from a slash fic really.


**War paint**

_Adult Kafei/ Oni Link. Inspired (as if often the case with many of the things I've written) by an artist. This time around, it's the fabulous work of 'kacfrog11' from devart, who also mentioned that she's not seen this couple often (if at all). I realised she was right. So, like the A/U loving fantard whore I am, I decided to couple them and see what would happen! (LOL, OK, so it's taken me forever to actually finish writing it, but…it's the thought that counts, right?)_

_Welcome to the A/U Termina barge. Full steam ahead!_

* * *

In the land of Termina, in a world created by three Great Golden Goddesses and threatened by many evils, another catastrophe loomed on the horizon. The giants who had once protected the land had disappeared, leaving behind only the legends and whispers of magic on the breeze. Most had forgotten their guardians, and went about their lives as normal – or, as close to normal as they could.

The signs of danger were already there though… as the Carnival of Time grew closer and closer, odd things began happening across the kingdom. The moon seemed to grow larger, the distance at which it was cast in the sky shrinking as the days passed. Animals acted strangely; dogs barked for no reason, cows didn't produce any milk, and all the birds had flown away from the kingdom, though it was the height of summer.

Only a foreigner child and his companion fairy seemed to know what was going on. The pair was often seen hurrying through the town, or galloping through the lands beyond on a strong brown mare.

This foreign-boy, clad in green, befriended a child that seemed strangely familiar to all those in the town. Many commented that this child bore an eerie resemblance to the mayor's son, who had been missing for well over a fortnight, leaving his fiancée greatly distressed. The foreigner in green, and the purple-haired local boy travelled around together, whispering, the local boy always with an intense look too old for his young face…

* * *

"Masks will always play an important part of life here," a young man in fine robes of white and purple murmured, studying the wooden mask he had in his hands. Turning it over revealed that it was a perfect replica of his own face, painted onto the outside of the surface with an expert hand. "The masks we choose to wear can decide what path we shall later take." 

"Mmm," came the unenthused reply of the odd looking man opposite him. He was handsome, yet something did not sit quite right about him. He had deeply tanned skin on his face and hands, with a shock of long white hair atop his head, and pointed ears. Red tattoos drew triangles beneath each eye (the eyes were as white as his hair). To top the ensemble off was a suit of gleaming armour, strapped on over his white tunic.

"No need to get _too_ excited," the purple-haired man commented dryly, setting his mask down on the table they were sat at. The other followed his actions, to show that his own mask matched his face also.

"Considering you've only been here for two weeks, Kafei, I'll let you amuse yourself with philosophy." The tanned man stretched, armour scraping against the back of his chair. "After so long a time waiting here to help someone decide 'what path they will take', I'm staring to get a little bored."

"I never said you had to be interested, Oni," Kafei answered airily, smirking as the other flinched slightly at the name. "I was merely trying to make conversation…"

"Well, don't," the white-haired man said curtly, crossing his arms over his chest and stubbornly looking away from his companion.

There was little else in the room, bar the table and two chairs…though neither was really sure whether they could call the place a 'room'. It had a floor, but that was about it. Above them stretched an endless expanse of white – no sun shone, no clouds rained – it never changed. The same went for where there should be walls – just white upon white and no escape from the clinical coldness of it all.

A period of silence passed. Whether it was a minute or an hour, no one could tell. Time passed inexolerably on its own whims in this place of…limbo… Kafei drummed his fingers on the tabletop, until a glare from Oni made his drop his hands back into his lap. There, he twiddled his thumbs and studiously took in the grain of the wood that made up the tabletop. The other man remained still, though it was possible to see his pale pupils (only a few shades darker than the whites of his eyes) taking in everything around them.

Finally, the white-haired man sighed heavily, and leant forwards across the table, resting his armoured elbows on the wood. "All right, Terminian, talk. It's too quiet."

"I thought you said you weren't in the mood for conversation," Kafei replied innocently, though there was an amused glint in his red eyes.

"I'm not – but I would prefer it to this interminable silence," Oni decided, leaning back in his chair and putting his feet up on the table. Then, he bought his hands up behind the back of his head in order to use as a headrest. The other watched him with eyebrows raised. "Well?" the white-haired man prompted.

"I can't think of anything to say now…"

"Din, give me strength," Oni muttered darkly. "You were talking some rubbish about masks and life," as he said 'masks', he scooped his own from the table and put it on his lap so that he could study it more closely.

"Well, masks can be both physical and proverbial, can't they?" the Terminian intoned knowledgeably.

"Can they?" Oni queried, playing dumb. Kafei just frowned and picked up his own mask, giving his hands something to do.

"Yes, they can," he answered, rather forcefully, as though challenging the other to contradict him. Wisely, the white-haired man kept his mouth shut. "The physical masks can be removed once they've outlived they're usefulness-"

"Once _we've_ outlived _our_ usefulness you mean," Oni interjected, frowning darkly. "The Hero will use us and cast us aside as_He_ has countless others…we are only still here because _He_ has not yet found us."

"-but the proverbial masks are much more difficult for the wearer to remove," Kafei concluded, pointedly ignoring the pessimistic grousing of the other. "Sometimes it's difficult to know where the mask ends and the person begins…"

"At least _you_ have a person to return to," the tanned man said bitterly, relinquishing the hold on his mask and letting it clattered to the floor. "When _He_ no longer needs me, I shall live like that until _He_ needs me again…if _He_ does…" The purple-haired man glanced at the dropped mask, mouth agape as he obviously tried to figure out what to do. When the other made no move to do so, he slid off his seat (carefully placing his own mask on the table), and stooped down to pick up the tanned and tattooed mask. This he handed back to Oni in silence, knowing there was nothing to be said. It was the truth. Masks were only ever alive when worn – other than that, they were only decorations gathering dust.

Kafei had a life to return to once the curse on his younger self was lifted.

Oni's life outside the mask had ended long ago, leaving him trapped in this limbo for time unknown, not even to him. For the passing of time was strange here – uncountable and ever changing.

Silence descended once more between the two, so thick and tense that it could have been cut with a knife. This time, it was Kafei who broke the silence, a question he'd been pondering bubbling to the surface long before he could stop it. "What if he never stopped needing you? What if you became…you know…? Proverbial rather than physical?" Oni stared at him, mouth slightly open. "Well, what do you think?" The Terminian pressed.

"I think that has to be not only the stupidest thing anyone has ever said to me, but the most bizarre as well!" the white-haired man exclaimed, laughter suddenly erupting and echoing around the wall-less room of limbo. Kafei pouted angrily and glared at Oni, only making the other snigger harder.

"'Proverbial rather than physical'!" he wheezed through guffaws. "You're an absolute classic, you know that? Cute, but decidedly dumb!"

Kafei blinked a couple of times, registering the 'cute' remark, before indignantly replying, "It was just a suggestion! But if you're going to be such a bloody idiot, I shan't attempt to help you any longer!" By now, Oni had managed to get his laughter under control, and was wiping tears of mirth from his cheeks.

"Come on now, I don't mean any harm…it was just the way you put it – in that p-posh voice," he coughed in an attempt to hide a slight snigger. "I'm sure you might have an idea in there somewhere."

"I'm thrilled by your confidence," the purple-haired man drawled in a bored manner, taking to studying his own mask…

* * *

Link peered around the small outcrop, keeping his hand firmly clamped on the shoulder of the boy next to him. The boulder against the cliff face remained stoic and unmoving, whereas the purple-haired youngster strained against the hand that was on his shoulder. "It's in there!" he hissed, glaring at Link and trying to shake his hand off. 

"Yeah, but the only way to get in there is to wait for someone to open it for us!" he retorted. "Kafei, I know you're annoyed…but…come on, be patient."

"Yeah, you idiot, just sit tight!" Tatl added, emerging from Link's hat and dazzling both of the youths.

"Tatl," Link began warningly. The fairy obediently returned to his hat, though she tugged on his hair to show him how annoyed she was. The Hylian winced, tears starting in his eyes. Kafei sighed heavily, and stopped struggling.

"I just wish it was all over…"

* * *

Kafei shuddered momentarily, a sudden chill passing over him. Oni, who was, for some inexplicable reason, running around the room of limbo, stopped suddenly. Looking up, both men saw a black tear beginning to form in the 'sky' above. "What the heck is that?" the purple-haired Terminian asked, rubbing his arms as the cold cut through the thin silk of his tunic. The tanned warrior didn't answer immediately, instead looking to the table where both their masks lay. 

Kafei's mask glowed slightly, illuminating the table and chair nearest to it. Oni's mask remained in shadow.

"He's coming for you," the warrior answered surely, resuming his agitated run.

"So soon? Well…good! Anju must be so worried!"

"Yes, the little lady must be," the tanned man growled sardonically, stopping short in his run for a second time. The Terminian frowned slightly,

"Well, I am engaged to her!"

"…and you have a life to go back to. I _know_. No need to rub it in!" the warrior resumed his running for the third time, only now he ran away from the table and into the void beyond.

"I wasn't intending to 'rub it in'," Kafei echoed the accusation in an abashed tone.

"You don't need to," the other muttered to himself. However, just as time could twist and bend in the void, so could sound. It came out as a shout, which rang around the unseen walls and ceiling. Both men flinched at the volume, and then turned to look at one another. Kafei began to walk away from the safety of the table, and Oni moved to meet him. They didn't speak, yet were able to say everything they needed to with their eyes. Oni smiled apologetically, and when the two had stopped, facing one another with about three feet between them, he held out his gauntleted left hand.

"Sorry Kafei," he muttered. The purple-haired man awkwardly caught his hand (his left not being his strongest arm), and shook it.

"Don't worry – I'm beginning to get used to it," he smirked, before changing to a real smile. "And we'll see each other again – after all, everything seems to revolve around _Him_ these days."

"Too true, too true," the warrior agreed, relinquishing his hold on Kafei's hand. There was a moment of silence, and then the Terminian noticed a sly grin on his companion's face.

"What?" he asked, apprehension clear in his voice.

"What was that you were saying about…about…ahem, heh…about 'proverbial and physical' again?"

"Don't push it, Oni," Kafei growled, though his eyes belied a smile. "Besides," he added airily, "I still say it could be done."

"But how?"

"What? You're actually asking _me_ how _my_ 'ridiculous' idea would _work_?" the Terminian exclaimed.

"Yup, that's right. _Indulge_ me," Oni answered, dropping a roguish wink on the word 'indulge'.

Kafei raised his eyebrows at the other man. "Right," he drawled slowly. "Well, shall we go sit down and talk about it like…" he trailed off and looked sidelong at the other.

"Like what?"

"I was going to say 'like civilised people', but I suppose that doesn't really apply to _you_."

"I many not have my sword, Terminian, but my hands are very-"

"Handy?" Kafei supplied innocently. Oni just laughed.

"Yeah, that's right." He walked over to the purple-haired man and threw an arm over his shoulder. "Come on then." He propelled the purple-haired man back over to the table and two chairs, a sad smile crossing his face.

* * *

Finally, in the land of Termina, (the kingdom where ancient giants once ruled supreme, but now slumbered deeply), the sun was also beginning to doze off. It sank slowly beyond the western horizon, tracing shadows over the land. The sky burned golden, and the enlarged moon loomed ominously in the darkening sky. Somewhere in the great desert, two youths lingered impatiently, accompanied by a bad-mouthed fairy who voiced her impatience loudly and often. 

"It's been hours! I bet he's not even going to turn up!" Tatl grumbled, flying in agitated circles around Link's head. He just frowned, and looked sidelong at Kafei, who was leaning against the cliff face, arms folded and expression sour.

"I think your stupid fairy might be right," he growled.

"What did you just say, ponce?" Tatl bit back, flying into the purple-haired boy's face and dazzling him. He swore, and swatted at her with his hands – this resulted in her tumbling to the floor with a screech. "Why you-!" she hissed, picking herself up out of a rather unpleasant smelling puddle.

"Shh!" Link interjected, grabbing Kafei and pulling him back behind the boulder they'd been using a refuge since the middle of the afternoon. Tatl shut her mouth and bit her lips (pulling a face when she tasted whatever had been in the puddle), and then daintily pulled herself from the pool of water and sauntered over to the two youths. The sound of hoof beats could be heard coming down the path towards them, accompanied by slightly drunken laughter.

"Is it them?" Tatl asked, tugging on the purple-haired boy's silk trousers, the fight all but forgotten. The Terminian looked down, brow furrowed, and then looked at Link. The Hylian understood the meaning of his gaze, and stepped out of the way so that the other could peer around the boulder and see the approaching horsemen. By the tensing of his fingers against the rock, the other two guessed the answer. Just in case Kafei felt like doing something stupid (again), Link gently touched him on the shoulder.

'Careful', he mouthed when the purple-haired Terminian looked over his shoulder. The rich boy just nodded, and then peered around the outcrop at the oncoming horsemen again. He recognised only too well the thief who'd accosted him that fateful day… Without his wedding mask, he knew there was little chance of ever returning to his adult self… And if he did not return to his adult self, he would never be able to face Anju again.

At the thought of his fiancée, he scowled darkly, vowing that the thieves would pay for what they'd done to him. _(And that skull-kid too.) _

* * *

"…so I make myself invaluable to _Him, _and then you think I can be – whatchamacallit? Physical?" 

"I'm surprised you managed to grasp it that quickly-" the Terminian bit his tongue at the sour look the warrior shot him across the table. "But, yes, that's the top and bottom of it really."

"Exactly how do you propose I do that then?" Oni leant forwards, resting his chin on his hands and patiently awaiting an answer.

"I – I'm not quite sure, to be honest. I never said this was a fully-formed plan… Maybe you could use your fighting skills?"

"From what I know, _He_ doesn't need much help there," the warrior answered, with a small hint of admiration for the young Hero in his voice. "They say _He_ saved an entire kingdom by himself – there couldn't be much I could teach _Him_."

"Surely – surely…you're a fully-grown man, and _He's_ just a child… There must be something you could do!"

"Careful Terminian, it's beginning to sound like you care."

"Did I ever say anything to indicate the contrary?"

"Well, you did bite me when you woke up here," Oni reminded Kafei, who just flushed.

"I was confused."

"Obviously." Both men shuffled uncomfortably and looked off into the white distance. The warrior cleared his throat softly. "I suppose you're right though. _He _is only a child. There are some things – reach, strength, weaponry – that don't come until adulthood."

"Exactly," Kafei idly picked at a pull in his tunic. "And if that fails," the warrior's ears perked at this, "I'll be myself again. I might be able to seek _Him_ out…and help…somehow."

"And why would you do that? Surely your woman would keep you occupied." Even though he hadn't intended it to, the statement sounded bitter.

"Her name's Anju," the purple-haired man intoned in tired annoyance. "Besides, having been stuck with you here for so long, I feel I've been rather forced to enjoy your company," he chuckled lightly. The warrior just shook his head, and scratched a tattooed cheek.

"Charmed, I'm sure." Looking up, he sighed at the size of the black tear in the sky. "Whatever happens, it looks like you'll be out of here soon enough."

"Yeah," the Terminian murmured, also staring at the curious darkness above. "It's going to be strange being back." At the pointed look Oni gave him, Kafei realised he'd made yet another faux pas. Internally, he hit himself on the head with a heavy and blunt object. Luckily, the other man just brushed it off with a laugh,

"I'm just going to be interested to see how the world's changed in the past few hundred years."

"It's been so long?" Kafei asked, shocked.

"About that – I stopped keeping count after the first fifty though, so I'm not sure of the exact time," the warrior just waved his hand carelessly. "You get used to it really; though I'm looking forward to eating something again. Maybe drinking a little as well…"

"Can I just point out that _He's _only a child? Promise me you won't get him drunk." When the other gave no answer, he pressed the matter, "Oni!"

"Yes?"

"Oh, just- Never mind," he shrugged, and glanced upwards again. "How long do you reckon it'll be?"

"Probably time enough for a game of cards." The tanned man reached into the folds of his tunic, and withdrew a battered deck of cards. "What do you fancy playing Terminian? …Kafei…?" The purple-haired man was staring at the deck of cards in Oni's hand, his face turning a worrying shade of red. "What?"

"You had those the whole time, and we've just been sitting here doing nothing?" he exploded, launching to his feet and sending his chair clattering to the floor. The warrior just smirked and nodded. "You-you're unbelievable!" The Terminian grumbled under his breath as he retrieved his chair, and then hefted it closer to the other man in order to engage in a game. "Bloody difficult, you are."

"Well, I have been rather used to getting my way, until I was forced to enjoy your company for such an extended period."

"How do you do _that_?"

"What?"

"Remember every damned thing I say," Kafei sighed, taking the cards and shuffling them.

"You're just that fascinating," the tanned man answered asininely, holding out a hand for the deck, "I'll deal."

"No chance! It's your pack, so I deal. Poker?"

"Sounds good – just remember I don't actually have anything to bet with." The Terminian dealt the cards, and a small smile came onto his face. "What?"

"You have clothes don't you?" he said, half-jokingly. Oni picked up his hand, and looked at it – his face didn't change, but his eyes did flash impishly.

"So do you."

"All right, in that case…a garment goes for every lost hand."

"Sounds good – shake on it?"

"I have to warn you, I'm a good poker player."

"So am I," the warrior grinned, dropping the hand he'd just shaken. "Just remember how long I've had to perfect my game." With that threat lingering in the air, and the rip into the other-world growing ever larger, the pair embarked on a heated game of strip-poker.

* * *

Sakon looked furtively around as he stood before the entrance to his hideout, checking that he hadn't be followed. His companions continued to laugh and chatter away, unloading the bags of goods they had stolen in their latest venture. "C'mon, I'm hungry!" a Gerudo woman who'd decided she wanted to see more of the world, grumbled, hoisting her sack into a more comfortable position on her shoulder. 

"All right, all right. Eesh!" the Terminian thief unhooked a small key from his belt, and then felt around for the hidden keyhole in the cliff-face. When he found it, he inserted the key, and clicked it a hundred and eighty degrees clockwise. There was a loud crack, and then the rock itself began to swing inwards. "'ere, I'll take a couple of those," he offered – the Gerudo just tutted and dropped the sacks into his outstretched hands. He stumbled slightly surprised by the weight, but then determinedly righted himself, not wanting to appear weak in front of the woman.

"Just move it," she growled, going back over to the cart and grabbing another part of the haul. The rest of the travelling band of thieves did the same, exchanging insults lightly as they dragged the stuff inside.

Behind one of the many boulders in the canyon, Kafei and Link were watching the opening like hawks, trying to figure out a way inside. "Tatl," the boy in green whispered, noticing the fairy alight on his shoulder.

"Mmhm?"

"Do you reckon you could create a distraction?"

"I suppose so. But only if you promise chocolate," she tugged on his ear, making him wince. "Deal?"

"Deal," he grinned tightly. "Just dazzle them…maybe knock a couple out with your magic?"

"Yes master," she muttered sardonically, launching from his shoulder. "Want me to get the mask and undertake the whole mission alone as well?"

"Now that you mention it…" Link had to contain a cry of pain as she took hold of the very tip of his ear and bit down onto it – _hard_. "Just go!" he hissed, rubbing his ear as she flew off. Kafei rested his chin on the young Hero's shoulder in order to get a better look at the gaping hole in the cliff-side. The blond boy just stood still, feeling a little uncomfortable, but not wanting to say anything that might offend his troubled friend.

"I hope your fairy knows what she's doing," he muttered, breath hot against Link's neck.

"She does – she may not act like it, but she's got a heart of gold," the Hylian assured the other, clumsily reaching up with his right hand and ruffling the purple-clad youth's hair. Kafei pulled a face, and lifted his chin from Link's shoulder. They both waited in silence, listening hard for some sort of signal from the antisocial fairy.

"LINK! GET YOUR ARSE IN HERE RIGHT NOW! EEK!"

"I guess that's the signal," Link rolled his eyes, and unsheathed his sword. "Urm…do you have anything to fight with?" he asked, suddenly realising that Kafei didn't have any apparent weaponry. The youth just flushed in embarrassment, and shook his head. "Uh…hang on…" the Hylian searched around in his arsenal, and managed to come up with a dagger that had been sheathed in his right boot. "Here you are – sorry it's not that great, but-"

"Its fine," the purple-haired youth nodded, beginning to make his way towards the thieves' hideout.

"DAMN YOU HYLIAN AND YOUR PONCING FRIEND, ARGH! MOVE IT!"

"How can you live with _it_?" Kafei asked, twirling the dagger Link had given him with expert ease.

"It's tough, but I manage," he answered, breaking into a crouched run – the other followed suit, and they went into the cavernous passageway. There, they stopped, and pressed themselves against the wall, as a ball of light came shooting up the passageway, squealing, and closely followed by the Gerudo woman and Sakon himself.

"HEEEEEEEEEEEELP!" Tatl yelled as she zoomed past. Kafei watched with unhidden amusement as she collided with the wall and then turned around to face her pursuers. Link, however, was ready to strike, and had extracted a handful of Deku-nuts from a pouch at his waist. With the hand that held his sword, he reached up and covered the Terminian's eyes, shut his own, and then dropped his deadly weaponry.

_Crack._

When the flash from the explosive seeds had died, he opened his eyes – Kafei pushed his hand away, and he grinned at him apologetically. "I don't like killing unless I have to," he admitted, nodding to the stunned thieves lying on the floor. "If we hurry, we can get in and out before they can wake up and sound the alarm."

"Sounds good," the purple-haired youth nodded, "Thanks for helping."

"Don't mention it," Link muttered, stepping over the stunned enemies and accompanying his friend deeper into the hideout. "If I say 'eyes', close them, OK?"

"Going to use more of those flash-things?"

"If we meet anyone else, then yeah."

"OK."

* * *

"I'm cold," Kafei grumbled for the umpteenth time, rubbing his bare arms and scowling at the tanned warrior across the table from him, who thus far had only shed his footwear and gauntlets. "It's not fair – you started with more clothes than I did." 

"Fine – I'll take off two things – if I lose a hand – but I seem to be doing pretty well so far," the other answered, merrily laying down his hands. "Read 'em and weep," he cast an appraising eye over the bare torso of the other. "Bet you can't beat that!"

"How much do you bet?" the Terminian asked coyly, laying down his hand. "Royal flush." Oni blinked, and stared at the cards.

"How the-but you…had a crap hand…what…?"

"Bluffing works both ways. Now, what was that you said about taking off two things? I think…the armour, and then the tunic." The purple-haired man sniggered as the tanned warrior begrudgingly began to undo the many straps which held his armour on. "Want some help with that?" he muttered with a smirk.

"If you're offering," the other looked up through his white hair, fingers loitering uselessly on a side-strap. Kafei swallowed hard, and then mentally shrugged.

"If it'll let us carry on this damned game, then I suppose I must."

"After all, I'd hate to leave this half-finished," Oni purred, grabbing the hand that Kafei had reached out in order to help with the straps. The Terminian overbalanced, and fell across the table with a loud grunt.

"Ow," he breathed, winded by the corner of the table in his stomach. "What the hell was that for?"

"To prove you should probably come round here, or else you'll hurt yourself," the warrior reasoned.

"And you couldn't have just said that because…?" the purple-haired man straightened up with a wince and rubbed his stomach. Then, following the advice of the other, walked around the table, revealing that he was only clad in trousers. "Come here," he ordered, stooping down to begin tackling the buckles that Oni had abandoned.

"It's been a while since I last had someone undressing me," the tanned man said in a breezy tone, lifting his arms up and crossing them behind his head with a sigh. Kafei paused for a moment, and raised his eyebrow at the other.

"Don't get any ideas," he warned, speeding up his work – luckily, he had nimble fingers, and made short work of the fastenings on Oni's armour. "There – take it off."

"Yes sir," the warrior simpered mockingly, pulling the metal protection off over his head. When that was done, he sat back in his chair, and reached out for the cards on the table.

"Uh-uh – you said two things," Kafei contested, crossing his arms over his chest and tapping his foot impatiently.

"All right, all right!" Oni gave in, and then added under his breath, "Kinky bastard."

"Pardon?"

"Nothing." The Terminian let the remark slip, and went back to his own seat, watching his companion remove his tunic with an expression of disinterest. However, this by no means reflected the emotions rumbling beneath the surface of the rich young man. He gathered all the cards together, shuffled them, and dealt another hand. He picked up his own cards, and groaned out loud. Oni, however, let out a whoop.

"HA! Victory! Lay them down!" he crowed, depositing four aces and a king. Kafei dropped his own hand, which had been utterly useless. "Well?" The Terminian groaned again, and dropped his hands to the ties that held up his trousers. "Go on, Terminian," the warrior urged.

"Oni, people might almost think you wanted to see me naked," Kafei joked, though his laugh betrayed his nervousness. The tanned man just shrugged,

"I stopped caring what people though a long time ago. Get them off. Now."

"Fine. Pervert."

"And?" the warrior smirked as the other vainly attempted to cover his modesty as he shed his expensive silk trousers. "Another hand then? Sudden death."

"What's the point? What else can I lose?" the Terminian said with a nervous grin.

"Well, if you win…I'll get rid of the lot."

"And if you win?"

"We'll decide that when we come to it."

"I'm not sure I like the sound of that," Kafei shivered, blatantly cheating and draping his recently removed trousers across his lap. Oni ignored this breach for the moment. "And why do you think I'd want to see _you_ naked?"

"Are you saying I'm ugly?" Oni pouted, feigning offence.

"Oh, no, I didn't mean-" he stopped when Oni laughed. "Whatever, just deal." He grabbed the cards that the warrior threw his way, and looked at them – it wasn't a royal flush, but it was better than nothing. He looked up at the warrior, and wished that he could ask for two different cards, just to try and improve his chances – however, he _had_, rather stupidly, agreed to this sudden death, so…

"Lay them down at the same time?" the tanned man asked, raising his eyebrow and twirling a strand of snowy hair around his finger.

"I guess so."

Two sets of cards were put down onto the table. One man cursed loudly, and the other one grinned broadly, sliding off his chair, and walking over to the other. The one who still sat banged his head on the table, purple hair tumbling to cover his face. The warrior stood over him, and put a cool hand on his shoulder. "Oi, I believe I win."

"If you want money, I don't have any," Kafei mumbled into the wood of the table.

"What the hell would I do with money?" the tanned man snorted. "I just want a promise."

"Oh yes?" the Terminian sat up straight (casually ensuring that the trousers covering his modesty didn't slip of his lap and onto the floor.) "What?" Oni bent down so that he was on eye-level with Kafei.

"That we play this again when we next meet," the warrior grinned, reaching out and grabbing the purple-haired man by the chin. "Promise?"

"Heh, I suppose so," he grinned, some small sense of relief coming over him; he'd been worried that Oni's demands might have been a little worse than that…

"Oh, and Kafei?"

"Yeah?"

"C'mere." The warrior closed the gap between their faces, and pressed his lips against those of the Terminian – at that exact moment, Kafei's entire world turned black, and he felt himself falling, though for the life of him, he couldn't figure how that had happened!

* * *

There was a sudden jolt, and Kafei found himself lying flat on his back on the floor, with a boy in a green tunic, and a flying ball of light hovering above him. "Wha-?" 

"Hey, it worked! Told ya it would dumbass!" the ball of light said. Kafei began to doubt his sanity, but then some vague memories wafted through his mind, and he was able to piece together what had just happened.

"Link," he tested the name out, and the boy in green answered,

"Yup."

"I – uh – thank you."

"No problem!" the boy beamed, proffering a hand. "Here, I'll help you up!" The purple-haired man offered the youth's hand, and climbed to his feet, glad to find that he was fully clothed once again. "Are you all right? You cracked your head quite hard when you fell," Link inquired, looking up at Kafei with worry. The Terminian assured him that he was quite all right.

* * *

Months later, the young Hero returned to Clock Town, having managed to protect Termina from whatever danger it had been in. He barged his way into the town's Tavern, asking after the Mayor's son. As soon as Kafei heard the name 'Link', he'd dropped all else and gone to see the boy, eager to know what he'd been up to since they'd last met. 

It was quite evident what the boy had been up to, from what was lying on the desk in Kafei's office.

It was a wooden mask, expertly painted, to show a tanned, chiselled face, framed by white hair and with red tattoos across the thin cheeks. The eye-holes left the whole face bland and lifeless, even though it was so well rendered. Link noticed his friend's gaze, and lifted the mask up so that it caught the light better. "Pretty cool, huh? I found it amongst a whole load of junk back in the hideout."

"Really?" Kafei squeaked. He then coughed, bringing his voice back to its normal octave. "Well, you know, that mask probably has lots of magic in it – it might be able to help you."

"Yeah, I thought it might – that's why I picked it up actually. What do you reckon will happen when I put it on?" the boy turned it over to look at the unpainted inside, and Kafei momentarily contemplated knocking it out of his hands. _(He kissed me…a man for goodness sake!)_ However, his conscience reared its annoying little head, and reminded him, _(You said you'd help him.)_

"I guess you'll have to put it on to see," he said innocently.

"Suppose so," Link nodded.

"Hang on," the boy stopped with the mask barely an inch away from his face, the magical ties already attaching to his skin with bright white light. "I'll just lock the door – you never know, it could be dangerous."

"Well, in that case, I probably shouldn't-"

"Look, I'm not saying it will be; this is just in case. It's probably harmless," Kafei blustered, turning the key in the lock, and pressing his ear against the door to check that no one was coming down the hall. That done, he turned around, just in time to see Link putting the mask on properly. There was a sound like rushing water, and Kafei closed his eyes as a flash like that made by a Deku-nut like the room.

* * *

"Hello Kafei." Oni smirked, eyes shining in the gloom of the night. "What of your fiancée?" 

"Shut up and deal," the Terminian hissed, openly appraising the other. The warrior laughed with abandon, and Tatl buzzed about agitatedly, confused by the transformation in her travelling companion.

"I'm glad to see you remember our deal." Oni reached out and grabbed Tatl, stuffing her in an empty bottle that had been sitting idle of the desk for days – Kafei had been meaning to throw it out. Now he felt glad that he hadn't. The warrior reached into a pocket in his tunic, and took out a pack of battered cards. These he put face-down on the desk, before attempting to strike up a conversation, "So…how've you been?"

"If you're not going to play, we may as well just skip to the prizes," Kafei murmured suggestively, sitting down opposite the tanned man, and reaching out to touch his cheek. "That's some pretty war paint you have there – I always thought that." With that, the two men just smirked at one another, before crushing their lips together to express just how terribly they had missed being 'forced to enjoy one another's company'.

* * *

_  
I have strip-poker in a fic. I am now intensely happy. Now to go and play some Majora's mask just so I can let my dirty little thoughts run rampant (along with Zora-Link…phwoar…) Yes, I'm a fangirl whore, and hell, I enjoy it. Gigglefit. Oh yeah, and just so you know, I don't know the rules of poker. You can laugh at me if I got something wrong. And another thing – my God that was tacky. That's probably why I liked writing it so much I suppose. Heh. Tack monster!_

_Soda x_

_PS: I am a dirty, dirty little author. _


End file.
